There are many people who, these days, just love to attack the traditional family structure – especially people on the left. They may claim it’s sexist and patriarchal, and that it’s old fashioned and archaic, but it’s not. It’s still just as valid of a social structure, and just as good for the well-being of society now as it ever was.
But I strongly disagree with these assessments on the role of the traditional family structure. These people who give these arguments are incorrect in their analysis. In many cases the two adults in this kind of structure have different roles within the structure of the family, one thing the left loves to complain about. But just because the two adults in this type of family structure have different roles doesn’t mean that they aren’t equal.
There is a good argument about the different adults in the traditional family having different roles, and this argument is based on the reality of human uniqueness.
The Argument
The reason I bring up this argument is because many people on the political left are of the impression that men and women have to be looked at as exactly the same, and have the exact same role in the family structure, if there is a two-adult family structure, or we’re being sexist. I would have to disagree. The truth of the matter is that if you take any two people on this planet, they are going to be different from one another. No two people are alike. In fact, this is true even for identical twins – they may have the same genes, but if you give them enough time, their separate experiences will cause them to be different.
In the same way, the husband and wife, in a traditional family, are different from each other – they are two unique individuals who are in fact different. To pretend they’re exactly the same is, in reality, not recognizing and embracing their uniqueness, or their humanity. To not embrace their unique differences could arguably be considered to be anti-human. The best thing for the family structure is to recognize and embrace each person’s unique abilities to contribute to the well-being of the family unit, and then to let them do so.
When you start to look at the unique strengths each adult, the husband or wife, brings to the table, some things that you see start to make more sense.
I’ll start out with the more general unique traits, as found generally in men, and as found generally in women.
When men act respectful and courteous and protective of the women around them, and children, it’s because they look at themselves as being uniquely able to contribute to the well-being of their family, and their community, through their strength. They recognize that women, on average, and children, are biologically weaker, and have less muscle mass, than they do as men. It doesn’t mean they look at women as inferior to themselves, but they look at their strength as a unique ability that can benefit the family, and the community in general. Their strength can help women be more able to live out their lives without fear of harm, and knowing that they will be protected, whatever their endeavors in life are.
Women tend to be more in tune with their emotions and feelings than are men. The women’s emotional intelligence quotient is through the roof; compare that to men, whose emotional intelligence quotient tends to be below average and weak compared to women. This is just one of many things us men admire and respect about women, and we look at this as one of their unique strengths that they bring to the table, and which can benefit the family, and which can help make the family, and community, stronger.
Yes, there are those that don’t fit these averages for men’s and women’s uniqueness to each other, and don’t fit easily in a bell curve graph for men’s and women’s strength or emotional connectedness levels, but that doesn’t mean that these averages aren’t true.
There’s another element to add to the idea of human uniqueness and how it works in the traditional family structure, and that has to do with the fact that because every single human being is unique and different, every family has a different dynamic based on this uniqueness that every person brings to the table. This means that if you go visit one family, there will be differences from it to the next family. So, not only do the man and woman in the family relationship bring their more generalistic, gender-wide unique traits, but the traits and abilities that are unique to them as individuals. This means that each family culture is different and unique compared to any other family culture around them.
In reality, the best thing that a family can do is to embrace each person’s uniqueness, and let each person use their unique skills and abilities for the good and well-being of the family unit. If we don’t let each person, particularly the adults, in the family contribute to the well-being of the family structure through their own uniqueness, you not only are taking away those people’s humanity, but you’re basically saying that each person is going to have overlapping and redundant skill sets and behavior sets that are already accounted for by the other adult member of the family. So, can’t we maximize the well-being of the family unit by letting each person, particularly the adults, work together, using their unique strengths, in a complimentary and synergistic fashion?
